First Porn Movie

It was decades ago. I was only 12 or 13 years old, in a Catholic elementary school. I had entered puberty only in the prior couple of years. My friends and I began to talk about our bodies, girls and sex. I would listen attentively and laugh at the quick stories and comments made by them, yet I was also fundamentally shy, the one who was least likely to talk about sex to anyone else.

One day a casual friend and classmate, Gerald, told me and another male classmate something incredible. His older brother had a small black and white film projector. A movie could be shown directly on the wall in their apartment. Not only that, his brother had acquired and had been watching a movie with naked people having sex! Would I like to see it?

I was very, very curious. But I was also very, very reluctant. How could he guarantee that we would not be discovered watching the movie? I couldn’t imagine how I would deal with it if Gerald’s brother or his family caught us looking at something so forbidden. And if my mother found out, she would have an unknown but major, negative reaction. She would be an earthquake I didn’t want to feel. I was not a kid with the required nerve to quickly pursue such a banned visual lesson in blatant sex. Gerald had to convince me that we could get away with it, that it was safe. Slowly, as we walked home from school over the course of a week, he managed to counter (but not entirely calm) my fears. The real factor that overcame my worries was simple puberty-driven excitement, the desire to see something I had never seen before and to learn from it. Just what did naked adults look like and exactly what did they do?

I had visited the apartment where Gerald lived with his family a few times before. I was always polite and respectful to his mother, father and family members. I barely knew his older brother. I was basically a good kid, never one to cause trouble. But Gerald wanted to show the movie and he talked me into stopping by again one day after school. He said no one else would be home. I was nervous but like a bird wanting instructions for its first flight, I finally agreed.

We arrived at his apartment and put down our book bags. I sat down. I still expected that we would be detected, exposed, identified and reprimanded by someone in the most harsh way. We continued talking as he got out the projector. It fascinated me. How did it work? I watched as he thread the film along its path through the projector, two or three times since it didn’t seem to work properly at first. Then he turned on the motor and switched on the projector’s light bulb. Like a miracle, the black and white movie began to play. Gerald fiddled with the focus and it became clearer. I don’t recall if it had sound, but if it did, I don’t remember the dialogue. Words were completely unnecessary, anyway.

The images flickered on the wall of the apartment. Astonishingly, a naked white man and white woman appeared and began to touch and fondle each other in ways that were utterly new to me but somehow seemed to make sense. It was not truly shocking, but it was totally engrossing. The man’s “thing” (which is what we called our penises in those days), became aroused and stood up. I looked at the woman’s breasts and vagina which he caressed. She took his penis into her mouth. At some point he did the same with her vagina in reverse. My body automatically reacted to all this. Like the man in the movie, I became erect, too.

Not long after, he inserted his penis into her vagina and began a series of thrusts. They changed positions a few times. They continued their sex act. At times it appeared to be mechanical, but throughout it was riveting to me.

From my chair, I inspected their bodies with awe. Breasts looked the way that I had always guessed they looked although I had never before seen uncovered adult female nipples. I already knew (just by looking at myself) what a penis looked like. A vagina was not a surprise. But for some reason what stuck in my mind was the immense amount of jet black hair the man and woman had in their private areas. Although I didn’t know the term at the time, it was evident that they had huge “bushes”. I thought, probably correctly, that they were foreigners, possibly Italian, and that the movie was made in Europe. Gerald might have confirmed this. I wondered for a moment if it was just foreigners who had so much hair down there. Or maybe just white people were very hairy between their legs.

Even though I had by that time a really good amount of hair on my “thing” (more than some of the other boys my age), the man and woman in the movie had much more than me. In my young mind this made an impression: Hair meant that you were an adult and ready for sex. This was in the days before anyone ever gave a thought to shaving their pubic hair (i.e., absolutely no one did so).

The movie ended and Gerald put everything back in the closet. No one ever caught us. But I learned a lot that day and it was a huge step in my education about sex.

As I got older, I saw (like most American males) more movies of people having sex. But I will never forget that first porn movie.

SU8301

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